Cercasi dialoghi dei sogni di Lor e Luke, 3.01 e 3.22

OPEN IN LORELAI’S BEDROOM

[Lorelai is asleep in bed when her alarm goes off. She shuts it off, and a second later, several others start going off around her bedroom.]

LORELAI: You are hilarious!

[She gets up and walks down to the kitchen, where Luke is at the stove making breakfast]

LORELAI: Okay, see, last night, when I said to you, ‘Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I get up at seven,’ what I actually meant was, ‘Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up at seven in case when seven comes, I actually wanna get up,’ which – as it happened – I didn’t. Therefore, you’re currently responsible for the great alarm clock slaughter of 2002.

[She pulls a container of coffee out of the freezer]

LUKE: No survivors?

LORELAI: The one shaped like a bunny escaped with a mild decapitation. [smells the coffee] This is decaf.

LUKE: What are you talking about?

LORELAI: You switched my coffee again.

[Lorelai searches the kitchen for the regular coffee]

LUKE: I’m a busy man. I don’t have time to sneak around switching your coffee. I have a diner to run, I have shipments to order, I have things to flip and fry. Will you stop that?

[Lorelai finds the bag of regular coffee under the sink]

LORELAI: Ha, haha, hahaha! Under the sink, very clever, but not clever enough bucko.

LUKE: Okay, fine, you know what? I give up.

LORELAI: Woo hoo!

LUKE: Go one day without coffee.

LORELAI: That’s not giving up.

LUKE: I’ll put a toy in your cereal.

LORELAI: Dirty!

LUKE: [hands her a plate of food] Fine, here, you win.

LORELAI: Thank you.

LUKE: You’re welcome. Now you’re up, you’re fed, I’m leaving.

LORELAI: Oh, hey, we need q-tips.

LUKE: I’ll alert the media.

LORELAI: See, that’s better with the accent.

LUKE: The reference is enough, you’ll learn that one day. I’ll be home early, anything besides the q-tips?

LORELAI: Um, cotton balls, world peace, Connie Chung’s original face back.

[Luke kisses her]

LUKE: Goodbye crazy lady. [to Lorelai’s stomach] Goodbye Sid and Nancy.

LORELAI: Leopold and Loeb.

LUKE: What?

LORELAI: I changed my mind, don’t tell Rory.

LUKE: Decaf.

LORELAI: Never.

LUKE: They’ll both have two heads.

LORELAI: More to love.

[They kiss again and Luke walks out the back door]

CUT TO LORELAI’S BEDROOM

[In the middle of the night, Lorelai wakes up suddenly from her dream. She falls out of the bed reaching for the phone]

CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Luke is cleaning up the tables as Lorelai walks in]

LORELAI: Hey, Luke.

LUKE: Lorelai, hi. Where's Rory?

LORELAI: Oh, out in the car.

LUKE: Oh. It was a really nice ceremony, wasn't it?

LORELAI: Yeah, it was beautiful.

LUKE: What's up?

LORELAI: I just wanted to say something to you in case we don't see each other before you go on your trip.

LUKE: Sure, what?

LORELAI: Don't get engaged.

LUKE: What, why?

[Lorelai turns to leave]

LUKE: Lorelai?

[Lorelai leaves the diner as Luke stares after her]


CUT TO LUKE'S APARTMENT
[Luke wakes up from his dream]

CUT TO DRAGONFLY INN
[Michel sits on the floor of the lobby.]

MICHEL: Is this your voice?

LORELAI: [on answering machine] Michel, curtains. Tom, banister and mud-sink valve.

LORELAI: [present] Yes, that's my voice. I left myself a couple of messages last night.

MICHEL: You left yourself 25 messages last night, and the funny thing is, you didn't listen to any of the messages. I listened to the messages.

LORELAI: Just hand them to me, please.

MICHEL: Every day that you breathe, you make my life harder.

LORELAI: Got a solution for you, Michel.

MICHEL: And when is the desk coming? I don't find the whole conducting-business-on-the-floor thing amusing anymore! I want a desk and a chair and a bell. Where the hell is my bell?!

[Luke walks in.]

LUKE: Hey.

LORELAI: Hi. You came by.

LUKE: You told me I had to.

LORELAI: I'm so glad you're here.

LUKE: Wow. The staircase is beautiful. Hey, Tom.

TOM: Luke.

LUKE: Yeah, nice work here. But you used glue. I thought with a banister --

TOM: Oh, are you gonna kibitz?

LUKE: What?

TOM: Guys who know a little about construction -- they build a birdbath, install a towel bar -- makes them think they know something, so they come in, they kibitz, offer a lot of free advice on things they don't know anything about. I got a low tolerance for that right now.

LUKE: I'm not gonna kibitz.

TOM: Okay. And stop touching my banister.

LORELAI: He won't let me touch the banister either. Hey, you want to see the kitchen? The stove is a thing of beauty. We're thinking of just ordering out for everything so we never have to use it.

LUKE: Great idea. And I wasn't gonna kibitz.

[Lorelai and Luke walk into the kitchen where Sookie is talking to a man.]

SOOKIE: Exciting, isn't it? [ Laughs ] Ohh. Lorelai, great. I've been looking for you. Hi, Luke.

LUKE: Hey, Sookie. Nice kitchen. Did you use the original tiles?

SOOKIE: I don't know. Ask Tom.

LUKE: Never mind.

LORELAI: What's up?

SOOKIE: Lorelai, I would like to introduce you to Shel Sausman. Shel, this is Lorelai Gilmore.

SHEL: It is really nice to meet you.

LORELAI: Well, it's nice to meet you, too.

SOOKIE: Shel is going to be our poultry supplier.

LORELAI: Oh, that's great.

SOOKIE: He sells only free-range, hormone-free, and he's recently divorced.

LORELAI: Oh, well, I assume that one doesn't have anything to do with the other.

SHEL: [ Chuckles ] You're funny. She's funny. You know, they say pretty women usually aren't funny because they never had to be. Were you a fat child?

SOOKIE: Um...I'm gonna go out and check with Michel on something, and you guys just talk till I get back.

LORELAI: Hey, uh, what do you need to talk to Michel about?

SOOKIE: Tablecloth supplies.

LORELAI: I can do that.

SOOKIE: Michel likes me better. Talk! Just talk!

SHEL: Listen, Lorelai --

LORELAI: Shel, have you met Luke? Hey, Luke...Get up! Uh, Shel, this is Luke.

SHEL: Nice to meet you.

LUKE: Yeah, you too.

LORELAI: Luke is my...special friend.

SHEL: Oh?

LORELAI: I have to tell you, renovating this place has been a real nightmare. I just don't know how I would have gotten through it without him. [Lorelai leans against Luke and forces him to put his arm around her waist.] Have I said thank you to you recently?

LUKE: Uh...no.

LORELAI: Oh. Well, thank you.

LUKE: You're welcome.

SHEL: Well, it was nice meeting you both. I'm just gonna go say goodbye to Sookie.

LORELAI: Oh. Bye, Shel.

LUKE: Bye, Shel.

LORELAI: [shoves Luke's arm away.] Don't touch my stomach.

LUKE: You put my hand there.

LORELAI: She's trying to set me up with Shel, the poultry guy? Why would she do that? I just broke up with someone.

LUKE: Yeah.

LORELAI: We'd been dating for a few months now.

LUKE: I figured there was someone in the picture.

LORELAI: You did? How?

LUKE: Just clues. You know, you never dressed weather-appropriate, that kind of thing.

LORELAI: Well I can bundle on up now.

LUKE: I'm sorry.

LORELAI: Cats came to my house today.

LUKE: Really.

LORELAI: Because they know I'm a loser and I'm destined to be alone.

LUKE: You're not destined to be alone. You have Shel.

LORELAI: Why is it so hard?

LUKE: What, relationships? Look who you're asking.

LORELAI: At least you got married.

LUKE: At least you had a kid.

LORELAI: It makes me sad sometimes. Does it make you sad?

LUKE: I don't know. Maybe.

LORELAI: Mm-hm. I see Dr. Phil books in our future.

LUKE: Unless they stock them at Home Depot, they're not likely to cross my path.

LORELAI: All this sad talk is putting a serious damper on my stressing.

LUKE: The place is great.

LORELAI: Do you think I can do this?

LUKE: I already told you you can do this, and I already told you that I already told you you can do this.

LORELAI: You're making me long for Shel.

LUKE: You'd never want for chicken.

LORELAI: Hmm.